Hey Guys! Red Alert!

HOW YOUR DATE EATS A HOT DOG REVEALS HOW GOOD SHE IS IN BED!

HEY, GUYS! You can find out how good your date is in bed if you buy her a hot dog and watch how she eats it, say an expert. "A frankfurter obviously resembles the male sex organ -- and whether they're conscious of it or not, women respond to that in a number of ways," says famed sexologist Dr. Marcia Kenwood, of Boston, Mass. Here, from Dr. Kenwood, are three common "hot dog eating behaviors" followed by comments.

1. Your date picks at and nibbles her dog. "Not a good sign if you're looking forward to a lusty round of adventurous sex," says Kenwood. "Women who pick and nibble are afraid to take chances or try anything new."

2. Your date snatches the dog off its bun, wags it in the air and then swallows it whole. "This isn't a woman for older gentlemen or guys with weak hearts," says Kenwood.

3. Your date puzzles over her hot dog, and then puts it back down on her plate. "Sounds like you're out with a lesbian," says Kenwood. "Better luck next time."

This may not be real.Parental guidance is advised.

DOWNLOADING SKIN FLICK AND DISCOVERING...

AN OHIO teen was severely traumatized after discovering the stars of a downloaded porno flick were none other than his own parents.

Timmy Shannon, 17, recalls the moment that scarred him for life. "I was like five minutes into this porno called Horny House Wives 4, when I thought to myself, 'Hey, that couch looks exactly like the one I'm sitting on. Oh crap, it is!' I remember the horror overcoming me when I realized the woman bent over that couch was my mother, and the guy giving it to her was my father. I instantly pulled my pants back up and vomited."

Timmy's parents, "Captain Throbberson" and "Gina Jiggles," as they were credited in the film, believe that their son needs to grow up and get over it.

"Tim's mother and I are completely comfortable with our sexuality. I think our son's a little scared he might learn a move or two from his old man."

While his family seems to be in turmoil, Timmy admits that future family gatherings will probably be a little uncomfortable. "Call me crazy, but it's going to be pretty hard trying to enjoy a nice Thanksgiving dinner knowing that your parents have probably done it all up and down the dining room table!"

Killer Tits

Picture has been removed due to over numbered underage viewers in this site.Sorry for the inconvinience.

A bachelor party at a strip club turned deadly when the 32-year-old groom-to-be - who was enjoying the attentions of a well-endowed stripper - suffocated while his face was buried in her breasts.

The club had been rented out for the private party.

According to investigators, the man was enjoying a lap dance when the fatality occured: One of the strippers - Kandy Kane - got into her performance and suffocated the man between her 72-DD breasts.

"We all thought he loved being in that gal's chest", one guest at the party explained later.

"Who could have known that when he was waving his hands around, he was signaling for help?"

Once cheering friends eventually realized that the man was no longer moving, and pulled him from between Miss Kane's breasts.

Now the man's family is suing Miss Kane and the Pretty Kitty for wrongful death.

The man's father, won't specify the amount they are suing for, but claims that it isn't about the money.


"Those breasts were lethal weapons," he told reporters.

"The Pretty Kitty should not have allowed Miss Kane to have her bust enhanced to the size that she did."

"We hope that by filing this lawsuit, we can send a message to other strippers: keep your bra size within a reasonable range."

Kandy Kane made a statement through her attorneys: "I thought he liked it in there. "

The Pretty Kitty owner and management declined to comment.

Moral of the story?

Don't blame your partners for their small breast.