Saturday, February 21, 2009

"His Girlfriend is Below Par"

Last week, I went to Sunway Lagoon with my high school buddies. In the midst of our conversation, my friend John made a comment that spiked me up to write this post.John was telling that me that he bumped into our ex-classmate Mike the other day. He thinks Mike is actually quite a handsome chap, but his new girlfriend is below par. My first reaction was "What do you mean by below par?". He said she looks cao lao* and a little thick. I was really disappointed by his remark due to the fact that he can say that someone's partner is 'below par' just because of their looks. 

*cao lao - hokkien phrase for someone that looks older than they should 

girlfriend below par

If he had said that her looks were below par instead of just 'below par', it would've been no big deal but that isn't the case. I replied him saying "maybe she has many other attractive trades besides her looks or perhaps she is more mature and loving.." hoping to bring out his deeper side but he simply said that his previous partner is better looking. Sigh.

Later on, we went to the wave pool just to chill out and relax. John pointed out a girl and dared Leon to ask for her phone number. Leon refused his challenge and said the girl wasn't pretty. John was surprised by Leon's remark and asked me about the girl's looks. I said "bo sui*". John complained that we are asking for too much. My reply was "I have very high standards when it comes to defining physical beauty but it doesn't mean that I seek for my partner based on that criteria." Leon agreed with me.

*bo sui-hokkien phrase for not pretty

I sincerely think that pretty looks is not all that important when it comes to choosing a partner. Good looks might be all exciting and cool but at the end of the day it is the character and personality that matters. I've met people that have average looks with such great personality that it shines through everything. These people are actually the most attractive beings in the world and not the pretty faces. 

Several weeks ago, right after I told my brother that looks are not important, he reminded me that I used to tell him that a romantic partner should at least look decent.

girlfriend below par (3)
You wouldn't want her to look like this,do you?

I did not deny it but explained to him that looks does play its role but it shouldn't be an overshadowing criteria. 

"If a book has a pretty cover, it will make you want to flip it open but one will not buy it just because of its cover, it has to have substance. But a dull cover that has great content might just lie in the corner of the bookshop forever."That used to be what I preached. However, something was missing, is it true that nothing can be done to help the book in the corner? I asked myself. The new me places the last piece of the puzzle by concluding that a book with great content can choose to have a simple but catchy title to do the job. 

We all need kickstarts and after that it is up to you to make things happen.


Celine said...

As people say, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Like some men finds fat chicks attractive while others don't. But it's true that looks does play a role in getting to know people.

Oh well, that's life anyway.

PuttyKitties said...

Well, in question of morality you are right that he shouldn't comment as such. But honestly, how many people in this world subjects themselves to total morality of ethics?

This world is with its norms and culture, there are things we can't change. Can't blame people for judging at looks, cuz it's in the genes. That's how sexual attraction works, since earlier on.

But I'm not arguing that he should make such remark. Oh well, good blog.

Constance said...

some people do comment about others without looking into him or herself first. one may be below par according to him but sometimes it is the heart matters that makes that someone 'richer' and more beautiful than image.

ahhh well, perhaps your friend just need some wake up call at a certain time or another. who knows, one day he wakes up and grow older than his partmer... and then he will discount that fact..
worst still, he gets a partner that comment on his below par look, very much the way he did on others..

don't worry LJY, you are fine. ignor such a person.